I dont ever think 'oh i'm creating art'.  i just think 'make this pain go away.  take it, just take it, claw it out of me'.  and i hate those ppl who think the best art is created from the most pain.  fuck those people. i have a lot of mediocre and terrible stuff come out of terrible pain and beautiful things come out of periods of healing and happiness.  they just want to romanticize and ennoble suffering like it's the badge of a true artist.  that is some fucked up shit.  those things should not be connected as if that is something a person should aspire to in order to be taken seriously, why would anyone want to condemn themselves like that.  it's the same bullshit that glorifies the work yourself to death capitalist model of the 'badass' hyper worker, as if that makes the work more important.  no it doesn't.  go do the things that make life beautiful and leave the romanticization of death by trade out of it.