haven't spoken to the mom in six months bc her emotional abuse is nonstop.  she obsesses over appearances bc she's obsessed with marriageability/reputation.  most desi moms are to a comical degree that can be forgivable in good measure.  but my mom has no interest in listening or learning or stopping when confronted with the hurt it causes, and instead doubles down and uses the mom card to justify humiliation and pressure as her right.

so i finally come home for 24 hours, and the comments are "i have other earrings you can wear instead of those", "are your sandals too small?", "here wear these loose larger size clothes they make you look slimmer", "did your hair thin out?  when you were younger i had to do do 3 braids for you bc your hair wouldn't fit in one braid" (says this every time for past 5 yrs).  to be fair the tenor of these comments are mild.  it's a more underhanded show of concern than a tone of shame and pressure.  So she's taken it down a notch after the silent treatment and my aunts telling her to cool it after I publicly blasted her on fb.  But still don't want to be in this toxic environment.