Had two moments with friends coming out of relationships recently in which expressions of support were more appropriate than the truth.

First is a badass female friend going through a divorce who was telling me (or herself, really) that Allah has someone for everyone and the right person will come along as we do our thing. I tried to explain that, sure, maybe, but also that Jane Austen, Zara Hadid, etc were accomplished while childless and single, so that's also possible. Her reaction to that was more of "but there are billions of people in this world so chances are" - at which point I didn't want to crush her hopes by dipping into my bank of misandry to drive home some facts. And who knows maybe she'll get what she wants.

Second is a guy friend who is a genuinely good person, but girlfriend broke up with him bc she needed him to want to do things with her, to initiate those things - basically wanting to be wanted. And the decline that happens after initial romance is what kills it for so many couples to the point of stereotype. women know this is a killer but somehow no matter how many millennia of human existence on this earth this fact has not sunk in for many dudes. It's even the plot of 'crazy stupid love' for goodness sake. women couldn't leave marriages/relationships before recent history without dire consequences so they just stayed miserable, now they don't have to. And I wonder if in his next relationship he'll make a consistent effort to make his partner feel wanted, but I don't know, bc he says things, understandably, like "I want someone to love me for who I am" and "she knew what she was getting, I'm the same person I always was at the beginning and end" (actually no he isn't, he keeps a cleaner apartment and knows how to cook now). And yes, we all want to be loved for who we are, but that doesn't mean we stop growing and becoming better versions of ourselves. A lot of women get into relationships for the potential of what the guy could be (pickings are slim, it just is once you factor out douches, and society encourages a lot of douchebags. for chicks it's a matter of what life skills like emotional communication, domestic problem solving etc does this partner actually have and can that be developed and is it worth the work - bc society for sure has not conditioned most guys to have skills they need from a partner). So I get the sentiment of wanting someone to "love you for who you are" but partners have needs and relationships are work. he deserves a good relationship though, he's one of the good ones. so that's what I said instead of everything else.

and no I'm not setting up first friend with second friend, they are very different people.