http://www.patheos.com/blogs/formerlyfundie/i-am-a-human-trafficking-survivor-heres-what-i-want-to-ask-christian-activists/

When people ignore or dismiss me I escalate things quickly.  Because fuck that shit.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/millennial-media/201304/do-racism-conservatism-and-low-iq-go-hand-in-hand

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-ca-mn-salma-hayek-the-prophet-conversation-20150802-story.html#page=1

expression is power.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2015/07/28/13-tips-on-how-to-speak-while-female/

the answer to 'should i lower my standards?' is no.

roam with meeee

I did it again.  Jumped into someone's memories, felt all their pain, and drained myself.  fuck.

Awareness brings with it the curse of alienation.

the internet as a means of permanence in a life of instability, poverty, and physical impermanence.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/hlg-is-your-relationship-being-hurt-by-ghosts-of-relationships-past/

http://attitude.co.uk/sir-ian-mckellen-to-narrate-muslim-drag-queen-documentary/

marriage is just a tactic of securing the least unpleasant rapist to ensure one's protection in a world run by neanderthals.  whole methodologies and skill sets have gone into securing such a malignant asset, such as bait-by-cooking, sex appeal, and cultivating a non-threatening cuteness despite one's intelligence.

http://americanfilmmarket.com/20-things-you-should-never-do-in-a-pitch-meeting/

http://www.bang2write.com/2014/02/6-ways-to-make-hollywood-fall-in-love-with-your-pitch-by-genevieve-jolliffe.html

http://www.ssninsider.com/screenwriting-101-legally-blonde-screenwriter-karen-mccullah-gives-advice-on-getting-your-spec-circulated-talks-expendabelles/

http://goodinaroom.com/blog/how-to-write-a-screenplay-sell/

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/248839

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/245928

it's not that i'm a better person or superior or whatever, other people are just _satisfied_ with the lack of poor standards we have for humans.  i'm not.

https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2015/07/29/unsafe-people-identifying-and-protecting-ourselves-from-narcissists/

http://www.dailydot.com/opinion/just-move-poor-people-advice-internet/?fb=ss&prtnr=attn

some dudes wear feminism like a pedophile wears a priests robe.

the things that people put on dating profiles are the things that don't matter.  like i would really like to see a breakdown of their character reviews by friends "total asshole, unreliable" "talks a big game".

oh did i just vomit all over this article?

http://elitedaily.com/dating/like-a-girl-so-much/1151053/

http://www.buzzfeed.com/alqamarhijabs/hijabi-cosplayers-faith-fun-11czo

http://www.comingoffaith.com/entertainment/19-things-you-should-never-ever-say-to-a-writer/?hvid=4oFPcI

white people diversity porn. ex: english class where teacher loooved stories about family abroad but other stuff was just weird.  ex: film festivals producers who really value my 'diversity' but fucking clueless that other work informed by it so much richer than shit that panders to their idea of 'diversity'.  go away.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/rossalynwarren/heres-how-one-feminist-responded-to-women-who-say-they-dont#.vaNpVBv20d

https://everydaygeopoliticshouston.wordpress.com/2015/04/10/a-reply-to-lauren-southerns-why-im-not-a-feminist/

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/9-signs-youre-dating-a-man-not-a-boy-hesaid/

A feminism that creates higher standards for men rather than making women lower theirs

I'm only interested in mastering the language of superficial people so I can subvert them with substance.

http://blogs.indiewire.com/thompsononhollywood/jill-soloway-says-there-is-an-all-out-attack-on-female-filmmakers-20150727

http://www.houstonpress.com/arts/no-it-s-not-your-opinion-you-re-just-wrong-7611752

http://www.indiewire.com/article/7-must-see-movies-about-writers

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/white-fragility-and-the-rules-of-engagement-twlm/

I am a magnet for Dawkins-reading headscarf fetishists.

Justine Musk

“Shift your focus away from what you want (a billion dollars) and get deeply, intensely curious about what the world wants and needs. Ask yourself what you have the potential to offer that is so unique and compelling and helpful that no computer could replace you, no one could outsource you, no one could steal your product and make it better and then club you into oblivion (not literally). Then develop that potential. Choose one thing and become a master of it.  Choose a second thing and become a master of that.  When you become a master of two worlds (say, engineering and business), you can bring them together in a way that will a) introduce hot ideas to each other, so they can have idea sex and make idea babies that no one has seen before and b) create a competitive advantage because you can move between worlds, speak both languages, connect the tribes, mash the elements to spark fresh creative insight until you wake up with the epiphany that changes your life.

The world doesn’t throw a billion dollars at a person because the person wants it or works so hard they feel they deserve it. (The world does not care what you want or deserve.)  The world gives you money in exchange for something it perceives to be of equal or greater value: something that transforms an aspect of the culture, reworks a familiar story or introduces a new one, alters the way people think about the category and make use of it in daily life. There is no roadmap, no blueprint for this; a lot of people will give you a lot of advice, and most of it will be bad, and a lot of it will be good and sound but you’ll have to figure out how it doesn’t apply to you because you’re coming from an unexpected angle. And you’ll be doing it alone, until you develop the charisma and credibility to attract the talent you need to come with you.

Have courage. (You will need it.)

And good luck.  (You’ll need that too.)”

Read more at http://www.businessinsider.my/elon-musks-first-wife-explains-what-it-takes-to-become-a-billionaire-2015-4/#SPMoLlo8Z3cfPZT0.99

http://www.bdsmovement.net/successes/

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2015/04/raised-by-parents-with-low-emotional-intelligence/

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/30/science/for-couples-time-can-upend-the-laws-of-attraction.html?WT.mc_id=2015-KWP-AUD_DEV&WT.mc_ev=click&ad-keywords=AUDDEVREMARK&kwp_0=22764&kwp_4=156255&kwp_1=163878&_r=0

i belong to the cult of people who have legitimately uptight jobs that can only be balanced with a colorful personal life.

Jealous mango.

women should get paid for emotional labor
http://the-toast.net/2015/07/13/emotional-labor/?utm_content=buffer2a8b7&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Entertainment: the only industry that doesn't punish me for having a personality (as much)

omg the guys in portland are so not creepazoids

If you want to be a hidden treasure, only revealed to the treasure hunter, then don't expect to be found by most. 

Things I don't want to deal with on vacation:
-racists
-sexists
-systems of abuse in general
-naive people who deny shit's fucked up and make me feel alienated in any way bc they can't educate themselves
-planning anything
-picking up the slack for anyone
-leading
-following through on other people's ill-planned goals that I am bound to

how do i ever get such a vacation?

i have issues with erasure and denial.  that shit's fucked up.

what is it with guys who want to erase the woman they are with.

 I don't want to be a public figure.  I don't want to be constantly held up for scrutiny.  I don't have the headspace to field and rebuff or urge myself to ignore all those expectations.

A therapist can't tell me anything I don't already know about myself.

Buy a nailcutter. Don't feel sad.

just as it's smart not to be in a private space with a guy on the first few dates, bc rape culture, I also think it's not smart to marry someone without having been in a private space with them either, bc rape culture in a marital context.  You can't know until it's tested.

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/04/rape-culture-dating/

Whenever I see Jon Stewart gushing about Malala, I get a little annoyed. Not because of Malala, she's great. But because before her fame, people would dismiss girls who dress traditionally and speak kindly as weak or naive, even though they have the same intelligence, tenacity and vision. These girls are not rare. Malala is not rare. The people who never recognized them as valuable are just idiots.

White liberal non-commitment to racial equality looks like white professors and students claiming they love diversity, but then not inviting conversation about all the diversity going on that's just weird to them. What they really want is people who look different but act like them, with maybe some interesting food thrown in for "diversity". Nice little tokens that make them feel cultured and open-minded without getting their hands dirty. Without challenging the system that keeps others at a disadvantage so they can think about their next ski trip.

‪#‎wishihadheadspaceforaskitrip‬
‪#‎jkidontski‬
‪#‎bcimbrown‬

I believe in polygyny (not polyandry) in the practical sense that there are only a few good men for many, many good women.  the assholes shouldn't get any.

most of the relationship refugees in abuse shelters are women and yet the laws dont punish abusers really

"He uses her love for him like a weapon."

http://www.damemagazine.com/2014/10/29/why-i-didnt-tell-you-he-was-beating-me#sthash.Syv3rQ30.dpuf

minorities are stressed people

The health cost of upward mobility:

"So the kids who followed the demographically normative path tend to be the healthiest, even considering that relative poverty and lack of education are health risk factors. The message could be to never be an outlier, but that’s no message."

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/07/the-health-cost-of-upward-mobility/398486/?fb_ref=Default

The high prevalence of poor sleep among African-American executives, the researchers wrote last year in The New York Times, “can be attributed partly to limited professional and social networks that can provide financial and emotional support; discrimination or microaggressions experienced in the workplace; hypervigilance because of a perceived high work ethic needed to succeed; or greater levels of neighborhood and home stress.”

Part of what may be going on is when you get to a competitive environment like college, and thereafter competition only becomes more fierce, these kids double down on their tendency to overcome—to be focused and persistent. And they do that to the exclusion of social lives, physical activity, eating well. They become so focused on this definition of success that they just neglect some of the lifestyles that happen naturally for the kids who are having an easier time.

In addition to discrimination and alienation, having to manage competing demands of a professional life and a “family-of-origin” life where expectations and norms are dramatically different. Add systemic discrimination on top of alienation from both one’s root-community and from other high-achievers, and the stress is compounded immeasurably.

I pray for the right words to express my emotions bc without them I feel alienated and alone.  I need someone to hear me and understand.

Eve Ensler on Bill Cosby:

http://time.com/3957881/eve-ensler-on-bill-cosby-let-the-mythical-daddy-die/?xid=fbshare

Hi I'm white!  I can think about camping cruising skydiving kayaking skiing because I don't have to think about how to behave around people who might get me killed by cops, deny me employment education housing, or dismiss my experiences in general for being so un-fun to talk about lol!

I have a problem with this and I don't have a problem with this:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ivanrhess/11-reasons-why-lena-dunham-is-actually-awful-1pf1n

People with hope are so quaint.

I'm going to miss Ramadan and the magical way it keeps me from cursing the shit out of every loser that crosses my path.

i hate dating.  fastest way to lose years of your life.  even after the relationship.

air in your lungs is not the same as food on your plate. one need being fulfilled doesn't mean all needs are fulfilled.

A burka is not a compliment to men.  It is a symbol of how they are still neanderthals.

Ladies, please become financiers bc guys with money are gross as fuck.

I don't care how progressive and open-minded you are, if you won't call out assholes in your circle, you're not brave.  You're not anything.  Go away.

Got so mad today.  So SO mad.  At guy friends (educated professionals) I lost some respect for bc casual misogyny.  They were talking about how tiger woods and other big athletes chase other women even if they have wives, and excused it, like 'we don't know how hard it is to always be tempted and no one ever say no to you' (like really?  there are powerful men who aren't womanizers, we just don't talk about the fact that they aren't womanizers; pick some fucking worthy role models).  They further elaborated that man, if they were with a 6, but 9s and 10s were throwing themselves at you, so hard to resist.  PUKE.  Like fucking PUKE.  Don't know if I'm more disgusted by the fact that grown intelligent men think it's perfectly fine to rank women's worth based on their appearance (I'm not assuming that they are ranking someone as a '9' or '10' by their brains here), or by the fact that they think grown men are brainless slaves to their dicks, therefore they hold themselves to low standards.  It's casual idiocy like this (women's worth = appearance, men can't help themselves boo hoo) that lead high-ranking professional men in whatever industry to make discriminatory observations that become status quo.  Take Michael Eisner's comment recently about how there are no 'attractive and funny' female comedians.  What the fuck does attractive have to do with it, Mr Gatekeeper of the industry?  Have you not seen the ass cracks for faces on male comedians throughout history?
Moms, if you're raising your sons to think like the above, you fail at Momming.  FAIL.  I judge you.

GAAAAAaaaahHHHHHHHHhhhHHHH

One thing about not valuing or being aware of the skills that you have is you recommend people thinking they're just as qualified bc you like them, and it turns out they're not qualified and then ppl won't trust your recommendation.

the moment you want to share your joy with someone, then remember they don't care.

some relationships are like a giant knife that drives into your heart, sending shrapnel to all its fleshy corners with every little thrust.

and some relationships heave the lodged knife out a little, only to reveal the sensation of shrapnel you couldn't feel the first time.

Palestine has a way of capturing the hearts of strangers.

how is someone who is numb supposed to make anybody feel anything?

No much how much knowledge I fill my brain with, depression will still come by an smash it away.

10 Things I wish I'd known about gas lighting

https://medium.com/@sheaemmafett/10-things-i-wish-i-d-known-about-gaslighting-22234cb5e407

a story about how ppl bemoan wanting something, i connect them with resources offered up on a plate, they don't do anything with it, still bemoaning wanting sty/not getting it.

someone who asks 'how was your day?' with the capability of understanding and interest in the answer everyday.

All my nebulous opinions are driving me nuts.

If experience teaches you one thing and religious teaching teaches you another, which do you trust?

(I go with experience for a number of reasons, mainly bc one is the opinions (no matter how based in law) of mainly men about God and the other is first hand evidence.)

Sometimes when people ask me what's the latest with my life, I tell them my worries and concerns of a predicament I was in sometime in the past, because I needed company then and there was no one.  Also, I want to tell the story, that's the story I want to share, not the daily particulars of something current and un-needing of human connection.

A conversation with kafka:

"One advantage in keeping a diary is that you become aware with reassuring clarity of the changes which you constantly suffer."
damn it. i hate you.

"My 'fear' is my substance, and probably the best part of me."
 quiet nod.

"Don't despair, not even over the fact that you don't despair."
 lol

 "A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us." i love you. why are you dead.

 "By imposing too great a responsibility, or rather, all responsibility, on yourself, you crush yourself." tell me about it.

 "Tyranny or slavery, born of selfishness, are the two educational methods of parents; all gradations of tyranny or slavery."
 this is why my childhood makes me so attuned to abuse of power struggles of many stripes.

 "I do not read advertisements. I would spend all of my time wanting things."
 lol this sounds like addley.

Losers and their apathetic loser friends.

Some women's feminism is weak sauce.  They will always put their need to be loved by a misogynist over calling them out and standing up for women and their own self respect.

If a woman has to be a mom to her husband and her kids, who takes care of her exactly?

I'm so excited that 'tone policing' as a phrase exists now. it blows the lid off of silencing techniques oppressive ppl have used against others for years, and put victims in quarantine when what they need most is expression as a means to justice.

abuse victims have had their emotional capacity and willpower eroded, so they have a lower tolerance for bullshit or working through relationship issues other people have the reserves to deal with.

i love how lazy allies are being taken to task for returning to their bubble of privilege once making a show of being on the 'right' side. worry that criticizing allies too much might discourage them from learning more, bc it does take a lot of energy and time to learn and stay committed, and yes it is tempting to return to privilege, which even though it is privilege, is still a life that requires responsibility and time for relaxation in order to stay human. one can't do and be everything.

why do women keep marrying men who don't think feminism is necessary? or marrying men who are silent when parents espouse horrifically sexist ideas and don't stick up for their wives' choices?

when you go on a date and the dude acknowledges male privilege:

I don't date politically respectable people.

I have little space in my heart for people who defend their idea of Islam above human rights, as if humans don't know their needs.

the problem is not that women are 'too polite', the problem is that men are held to a lower standard of behavior and, despite that, still rewarded with more power. the solution for women's empowerment is not to behave more like men in order to gain power (that works in the short run for an individual woman in a man's world). the solution is to raise the standard for men to respect the feminine and acknowledge the value of feminine work in a way that offers economic advantage, security and other forms of power.

guess what ladies, there's a kind of guy who is only 'feminist' bc he thinks it means he'll get laid (feminist = sexually accessible, easier than the 'prudes'). He is not a feminist and is not joking either. he's a disingenuous prick posing as an ally who wants to do none of the work and doesn't even acknowledge the actual problem, has no empathy for your struggles and will dismiss anything that actually requires self-reflection.

why would i want to be with someone who does not want to ask "how was your day?" because that conversation is 'boring'?

I love intersectionality. I love that it exists as a word (even though spell check redlines it). I love that ppl are calling others out on their shit and demanding their place at the table with their full identity and all the struggles that come with it. that's what commitment to diversity is, not some pansy-ass NPR lip service, moral pat yourself on the back, self congratulatory ideal one supposedly respects. The intersectional path forward is more uncomfortable and a lot more work, that's why it's more substantive, meaningful and long-lasting. So much more satisfying to talk about intersectionality. So sick of the era where celebrities hide their mixed or ethnic identities to be more marketable for the mainstream / have career longevity / not be pidgin-holed (norah jones is half indian ladies and gentleman, nelly furtado is portuguese, people, deal with it, you still like their music, you can handle their backgrounds, your minds won't explode, grow a little).

guys who are clueless about or dismiss age old mother-in-law / wife oppression and unpaid work women take upon themselves that is *necessary* but guys are too cool for school to do something that boring.

People who are so sensitive they stand in the way of their own growth.

the problem with being open to a wide variety of people and hearing all their opinions because you want to know what's out there, is having to hear said wide variety of opinions no matter how offensive and ill-thought out they are and constantly test your patience and willpower to not lash out in the process.

There is something very similar about academics and muslim conservatives (academically minded western educated ones) in that they both only give credibility to the system of thought they study and disregard the experiential in favor of theory and past models. Limited life experience makes it easy for them to accept past work on a pedestal.

Male privilege is not having to waste energy thinking about __________ . Non-Muslim American privilege is not having to waste energy thinking about _____________ . Zionist American privilege is not having to waste energy thinking about _____________ and dismissing ____________ .

I don't want to have to pretend to be normal to be considered worthy of love.

Does sexism still exist? Many men say no. Does the confederate flag represent racism? Many white southerners say no. Do Palestinians face genocidal policies by Israel? Many zionists say no. Privilege is blinding.

the scholars don't know what they don't know about experience and the artists don't know the discipline of scholarship.

some ppl don't know they are a stereotype of themselves.

I like visiting ppl in their bubbles - until they start insisting the whole world operates by the rules of their bubbles.