https://medium.com/@mozaffar/10-observations-on-american-islam-s-challenges-in-2015-b66e27f975b7#.yygpmptvp

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/253748

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/253748

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/253748

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/images-reveal-where-negative-stereotypes-about-feminists-come-from_5682bd7de4b06fa688813356

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/12/orgasm-inequality/

http://brightside.me/article/17-favorite-movies-before-and-after-visual-effects-64705/

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/248063

http://www.survivalgrit.com/how-to-create-a-complete-self-sustaining-homestead-on-1-acre-of-land/

I don't like talking to button pushers about things that require critical thinking.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/slactivism-works-study-shows-people-who-like-and-retweet-political-slogans-help-protesters-spread-a6764611.html

http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/08/toward-a-new-understanding-of-modesty/278652/?utm_source=SFFB

http://viralwomen.com/post/i_named_my_rapist_on_facebook_i_wasnt_prepared_for_what_happened_next

If i type 'i want a burger' into the far reaches of the internet, someone is going to bring me a burger, right?

https://newrepublic.com/article/123590/sex-and-the-muslim-feminist

http://www.businessinsider.com/a-lesson-about-happiness-from-a-holocaust-survivor-2014-10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiCLd1Go0zc

http://muslimgirl.net/15125/job-turning-you-white/

https://keziahereandthere.wordpress.com/2015/12/21/alternative-nativity/

http://www.estherperel.com/2015/12/relationship-accountability/

http://www.thenation.com/article/contradiction-and-diversity/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steve-rhode/bankruptcy-court-tells-de_b_8863970.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/muslim-americans-discuss-attitudes-toward-israel/

solutions with my blood and body.

emotional labor compilation

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-vJHzKhXmDyYkVoNDFuYVZaR0p5djBtNlh2ay1DNlJuQndJ/view

http://goodinaroom.com/blog/black-list/?omhide=true&inf_contact_key=bebcb79facff560e35808187e8b6fe59eefe8ed57f4d4618990b58c9558958cf

http://45.media.tumblr.com/b66d5f89982e2c11073a37acaa9c50c5/tumblr_nz0ao8dzfo1r4enhno1_540.gif

http://citizenshipandsocialjustice.com/2015/07/10/curriculum-for-white-americans-to-educate-themselves-on-race-and-racism/

How can millennials who move around a lot care about voting in municipal elections?

http://www.cnn.com/2015/12/10/living/mosques-attack-study-2015/index.html

"Is it 1932, and are we living in Germany? People ask, "How did it happen?"

If you never studied it, please read up on how kristallnacht happened. You'll find how easy it was to make the Final Solution acceptable.

The propaganda started to pick up steam in the 1930s and in 1933 Hitler was elected. In 1938, more than 1,400 synagogues across Germany were torched, and Jewish-owned shops and businesses were plundered and destroyed.

In 2015, more than 63 American mosques and Islamic centers have been the victims of vandalism and harassment and Muslims have reported being attacked in parks while praying, bullied at school and spat on while driving.

This is following the same pattern. Check yourselves.

Love>Hate

‪#‎stopH8‬ ‪#‎stophate‬" - faeza

https://www.facebook.com/MuslimFest/videos/1041118659243015/
1) how touching and appropriate to sing a song of welcome to a new life in a new land than a song from the islamic tradition that does just that from its own history
2) canadians are more welcoming to immigrants than americans are to americans (who look like me)
3)  may the refugees bring to their new cities nobility

broad specific, broad specific, like a heartbeat

LA excuses and enables sociopaths much like DC.  Same meh different 'industry'.

picture frames
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/art/5337234392.html

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/fuo/5352582881.html

http://www.upworthy.com/this-is-how-a-lifetime-of-potentially-dangerous-situations-affects-every-woman1?c=ufb1

1) Muslim 6th grader brutally beaten by schoolmates who called her isis and tore at her hijab
 http://www.mintpressnews.com/muslim-sixth-grader-brutally-beaten-by-schoolmates-who-called-her-isis-tore-at-her-hijab/211928/

2) http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/nightly-show-reports-islamophobia

3) http://patch.com/pennsylvania/phoenixville/man-allegedly-flashed-gun-muslim-women-limerick-outlets-report-0?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=facebook&utm_term=police+%26+fire&utm_campaign=recirc&utm_content=aol

4) State employee investigated after allegedly hitting, throwing coffee on praying Muslim man http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-cdcr-employee-investigated-muslim-praying-20151209-story.html

5)

Texans begin nightly smashing windows of Muslim family only six weeks after they move in

https://www.rawstory.com/2015/12/texans-begin-nightly-smashing-windows-of-muslim-family-only-six-weeks-after-they-move-in/

6) http://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/10/us/assertions-of-hate-crime-in-seattle-after-a-somali-american-teenager-falls-to-his-death.html?_r=0


7) http://www.salon.com/2015/12/10/muslim_civil_rights_groups_d_c_office_evacuated_by_police_after_receiving_foreign_substance_in_mail/

8) http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/exclusive-man-blasts-muslims-hits-worker-nyc-eatery-article-1.2462061

9) http://abc7news.com/news/suspicious-substance-prompts-santa-clara-office-evacuation/1118029/

10) https://www.facebook.com/billoozahra/posts/10101779952942137

11) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/andre-carson-death-threat_56683eb9e4b0f290e521411c

12) https://www.facebook.com/laila.abdelaziz/posts/10156290218810641

13) https://www.facebook.com/noraabdullah09/posts/10156409662275128

14) http://www.kesq.com/news/possible-arson-fire-investigated-at-coachella-mosque/36918766

15) http://www.rawstory.com/2015/12/muslim-woman-shot-at-and-another-nearly-run-off-the-road-in-tampa-after-leaving-mosques/

16) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/three-percenters-armed-muslim-americans_566b7a7ce4b011b83a6b6c25

fear of takeover so old: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10206874350270049&set=a.2153086299473.119683.1015867346&type=3

17) http://www.rawstory.com/2015/12/georgia-school-says-teacher-had-no-ill-intent-asking-muslim-student-if-she-had-a-bomb-in-her-backpack/

intv with trump supporters: https://www.facebook.com/msnbc/videos/1066241166805468/

https://www.facebook.com/thisisinsider/videos/1491740331133360/?pnref=story


stats shooters vs doctors https://www.facebook.com/JeremyMcLellanComedy/posts/1001804606527381

getting personal:
kate downing khaled
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10106971910402600&set=a.10100296945296180.2974095.13949034&type=3

so stop oversimplifying bc
https://www.facebook.com/Channel4News/videos/10153373408706939/

and get some friends of a different race
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/08/25/three-quarters-of-whites-dont-have-any-non-white-friends/?postshare=9501449859126124&tid=ss_fb

If you're patient enough to sit through the crazy talk and the boring bits, you may be able to clean some gems from the whole and maybe even notice some patterns with the new pieces at hand.

why are people who like me incompetent or possessive?  why can't i get loyal folks who are competent and respectful of boundaries?

It's easier to give someone one's body than to give them one's address.

How do we form governments and relationships with so much travel.  The local is not local.  The day to day is not in one place.  But it's still one heart and one story trying to stay whole and fulfilled.

never compromise on personal truths to fit so-called divine truths.

Had two dreams last night:

1) There was an oval spaceship killing off its inhabitants emanating from one point in the oval all the way around in both directions.  only one person could walk into the dead zones and see what was happening.  everyone in the living zones (for now) had no idea how far they could venture and tried to keep as far to the middle of the living zone as possible.  the last view in the dream was the pov of the one person who could venture into the dead zone watching as darkness fell on the edges of the living zone, marking them for death next.

2) I was listening to the friend on a giant cruise ship tell me how she lost her u-line boat after rescuing it from left so many times only to have it capsize just a few meters away.  I thought, hey, I'm a good swimmer and can retrieve it (a whole boat?!).  I swam out to flip the boat over and it kept sinking, i pulled it back up and bent it assuming the curves were the problem, then realized it was a woman's shoe, suddenly just as small.  very midnight blue and sparkly.  surprised i let it sink in the clear tropical water.  then i was afraid of what was in the water underneath me and decided to swim back to the ship very slowly.  woke up in the tension.

I'm going to run away to the woods whenever I want!

words and beauty.

Pulled out of one narrative into another.

personal needs + limits of reality = reasonable expectations

the kind of warmth that burns one part of your body and leaves the rest of you cold.

I like 90s music now that we're not stuck in the 90s.

why are people with narrower experiences than mine always trying to tell me how it is for everybody, as if they are the authority.

what is it with guys who think if they talk to a woman like she's dumb suddenly she'll forget that she's smart.

It's funny, as soon as a man sees a woman as a sexual being, he can't respect her ability to reason.  It's as if those two traits can't exist at the same time, in the same person.  And it becomes the woman's problem to deal with that because a man will just deny her observations as overreacting or crazy, because, again, he doesn't respect her ability to reason anymore.  Or rather, he doesn't want to deal with the inconvenience of a reasonable person resolving problems, because sex should be easy and uncomplicated, why is she making it complicated with all those thoughts, all those needs to be treated like, gasp, a person.

"If we're going to get any closer to "having it all" (or just "having a life") we need to ask men to drop both the gaslighting and the self-loathing and show up as adults."

http://jezebel.com/5923666/i-suck-how-guys-use-self-deprecation-against-you

It was so beautiful to see the sun-kissed southern california pacific from the sky merge into rugged mountain ranges, then become checkered brown and green farmlands, and then snowy mountaintops hugged by clouds, then disappear entirely under fog, and emerge again into the teals, maroons and deep greens of the pacific northwest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwgVUsvY9_0

I am my own romance.  I give people dreams they can never make a reality in the hope that their cumulative efforts make some sort of difference even if they fail to meet the ideal.

Conversations I don't ever want to have with a potential partner:
-whether #blacklivesmatter or #alllivesmatter
-whether it's ok to touch a woman (even "innocently" or "discreetly") without her enthusiastic consent
-whether communication and addressing problems is actually a thing that needs to happen regularly

Ppl who point to how lack of things working out for me in relationships might me my fault assume everyone entering relationships have an equally developed ability to handle ppl, problems, life.  And no most dudes I've known don't meet my abilities,  so no it's not me, it's them, and fuck u for not sticking by me either and assuming I don't know myself or have my shit together when u should be educating dudes including your sons and bfs and bros how to get have their shit together and be decent human beings.

Why do I always end up with dudes who try to take me down a peg when I demonstrate competence and not compromise how I want to be treated.

The more ppl u know, the more ppl who ask u to do things u don't have the time or energy to do.

I don't want the kind of pain that requires time and self-numbing to "resolve" them

It's hard to breathe bc it's hard to see.

what is it with people, when you say no to them, and even try to leave on a good note, think you're 'superior'?  setting a boundary to protect one's needs is not a superiority complex and people who use that card want to guilt trip you to spite you.

love is just what predators and the weak use to take advantage of you.

Pitch The Right Comparison Project

“Both Terry and I were so green when we were pitching [Ghost World]. We would tell executives that we wanted to make anotherKing of Comedy [1982] or Crimes and Misdemeanors [1989]. Big mistake. The executives would look at us as if we were insane. It’s like saying, ‘We’d like to take $6 million of your money and shred it for an art project that we’re doing.’ It didn’t take long for us to start saying things like, ‘We want to make another There’s Something About Mary.’ We had no intention of doing that, but you must at least make an effort to be reassuring.”

Daniel Clowes – Ghost World, Art School Confidential

what is it with sensitive ppl who get frustrated easily and start making it all about themselves.

http://www.businessinsider.com/fast-growing-and-valuable-startups-to-bet-your-career-on-2015-10?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

http://campaign.wellesley.edu/this-is-the-place

everything feels so vast i cant handle it.

How being a certain minority has its privileges.  for example, being muslim has streamlined me into connected circles in DC, academia in boston, classy venues in LA SF, london

what the fuck do i even want to say ever

my attitude toward a mainstream basic person telling me to conform be like FU

90s music: now that I'm not trapped in it, I actually kind of like it. ex: TLC, salt n peps

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/10/life-lessons-white-privilege/

I am kinda tired from all the thoughts that I thunk today.

If the ratio of battles chosen to number of opinions is low, the volume of passive aggressive facebook posts will be high.

equality is me being as mediocre as a white dude and getting the same paycheck

aunties: the good minions of patriarchy

Anytime I have to publicly comment on Islamophobia, hijab, racism, I feel like I am wasting so much time and energy.  Like literally it takes up my time and energy to contest dumbshit narratives being imposed upon my existence by 'colorblind' liberals and outright xenophobic conservatives.  Identity politics is a huge time suck mostly for minorities and women, and I don't want to play that game.  Every time I do because it's just way out of hand and there needs to be some perspective, I feel like my hand has been forced.  I would much rather exert brain power geeking out over fantasy novels and new         music.  Instead my energy is occupied with this shit.

People throw a lot of things at me in the form of their perceptions and expectations.  It's work to break it down and reframe the situation so they understand exactly who they are dealing with.

I envy the decisiveness of narrow-minded people who judge others quickly.  So easy to move forward with any decision at all when everything is so simple.  The quality of those decisions is another matter.  Not thinking things through or being closed off to realities is the best way to achieve comprehensively destructive results in pursuit of a singular goal.

you can only cover up so much stupid with money.

if you say that you're thirsty and really need a glass of water, and a person that cares about you gets up and gets you a steak, should you be grateful?  you politely say no thank you, and then they insist you eat the steak, adding potatoes and veggies, telling you how juicy it is and how much the steak is good for you with its iron and protein, and how no one else can even afford steak in the restaurant you're in, how you're really missing out.  And now that it's been ordered, you'd really make them feel bad for paying for it, after all they did it for you.  Then they order a few more steaks for you to go, and the waiter says what a wonderful person they are and so thoughtful too.  Do you still politely say no thank you?  Or do you get up and get a glass of water and dodge this person as best you can.

(hint it's a metaphor for people who don't care about boundaries or listening to the person they care about, because of narcissism that is socially reinforced.)

sometimes i stalk stocks i dropped like exes.

All my friends are always moving around and have been for decades. How on earth should 'vote local' even matter to people like that. systems don't catch up with the realities of life and end up not representing people that way.

every time I get a sensibility for one whole cohesive thing, my instincts rebel against its purity and want it juxtaposed with another cohesive thing, because that one truth isn't everything, it is lying to itself if it thinks otherwise.

everyone's bubbles feel so unbelievably oppressive.

handicapped parking sign
stop signs
-willful ignorance

the biker in his lane as it curved 'the biker moved'
-not taking responsibility

blaming someone else for things she's responsible for
pay credit card bills 'he said sth about paying it'
it's her bill...

the rat and the broken vase
the washer dryer even though winter is coming that doesnt get bought bc a $170 bidet is more urgent?

-

when he says not to spend too much time with the handyman fixing things in the basement like a warning, when he already brings up divorce as a threat to keep her in line, when he flirts with everybody without repercussion and has attempted to sleep with ppl who are not his wife (this is confirmed), nobody says anything to him.  instead, he has them all wrapped around his little finger.  it is creepy the way everyone has over-enthusiastic things to say about what a great guy he is, from the bank teller at citizens to the indian chick who is my age.  note: when you hear this about some guy, run, run fast.  the way he controls her finances and makes her come off as irresponsible and putting such a burden on him.  what an incompetent burden, paying for the mortgage entirely for almost a decade.  it's a way to keep her in the dark, and control the narrative to make her feel bad so she doesn't question or challenge him.  he's the responsible, unappreciated caretaker for a frivolous, expensive wife who doesn't even cook for him.  and she does cook for him, all the damn time, and puts meals and tea on the table, only so he'll ignore it and walk out to go spend time with friends.  then come home when there's no food on the table and raise hell bc there's no food on the table waiting for him.  and no one can reproach him.  if he's asked to cover the food in the fridge, he won't.  he'll start yelling about being lectured at until you do it yourself.  he'll leave half eaten bread out in the open, and all kinds of food from time to time.  it doesn't matter how many times you tell him to put things away.  so then now there's a rat problem.  he yells about how she wastes money on rat poison now.

fuck allll this shit.

--

he is like a spiteful pos that would burn the house down rather than let her have it.

http://www.mortgagenewsdaily.com/10052015_freddie_mac_insights.asp

“The greater distance between who you truly believe you are, who you want to be, and who you are in public—that’s what puts you at risk.” D. Freitas.

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/low_concept/2015/10/every_conversation_between_a_parent_and_a_child_in_four_conversations.html?wpsrc=sh_all_dt_tw_bot

A series of "he'll do for now"s.

http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2015-10-why-we-need-to-stop-devaluing-femininity/

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/10/nice-guy-lies-shouldnt-believe/

http://www.upworthy.com/people-are-dyeing-their-hair-like-space-and-its-awesome?c=ufb1

http://www.theonion.com/video/area-man-unsure-if-hes-male-bonding-or-being-bulli-33920

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/mass-killings-in-the-us-w_b_8234322.html

fuck your tranquilizing gradualism.

http://spsook.tumblr.com/post/130432191127/dont-confuse-critical-thinking-with-dogma-or

http://goodinaroom.com/blog/communication-skills/?omhide=true&inf_contact_key=633450bd147d43861f4c95dec1f4e8e3e7f7556a19b9949ad24f6230f96bcc44

Vapid intellectualism - no meaninful investment or commitment to the arguments presented.   The absence of conscience or acknowledgement of its relevance in a show of cerebral exercise to demonstrate sophistication or superiority.  Not to be confused with the neutral definition of intelligence presented by Aristotle (the ability to grasp opposing views without going mad).  Often displayed by educated groups from privileged backgrounds.

http://weird-sister.com/2015/10/01/28-lessons-learned-from-a-year-of-being-unreasonable-for-brown-and-black-poets-our-chosen-families/#more-4358

the advantage of being an enigma is predators don't see you/won't spend time figuring you out to discover your vulnerabilities/prey on them.  the disadvantage is non-predators don't see you either and it gets lonely.

If i want to move fast, I can't waste time explaining and justifying.  But I will have to have reasons at some point when public scrutiny comes calling.

white people's sophistication is bought without any kind of stakes whereas minorities' sophistication is borne from necessity, survival and an investment and commitment to the issues of which they are aware.

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/244458

http://www.bcc-la.org/unforgiveness-as-a-spiritual-response-to-familt-stfire-a-yom-kippur-sermon-by-rabbi-heather-miller/

everything is a prison.

how to find a dude with the intelligence / sophistication / cultural awareness / practical financial sense of a 'model minority' without the old world family pressure reputation obsession lack of imagination misogyny.  basically brown dude in a white family.

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/231525
devise business plan

"I was deeply upset that Capitol was interfering with my vision. I was not being a prima donna: I was just trying to concentrate on a technically difficult task while I was being talked to like I was a silly pop singer who’d gotten carried away with her own ego.

I was female, and they decided that I was rock ’n’ roll insane. Had I been a man, they would have considered that I was merely retaining control, or professionally fretting about the details. Once they start treating you as though you are losing your grip, it becomes kind of true – in reacting to accusations that you are paranoid and incapable of acting responsibly, you end up seeming to confirm that you are paranoid and reckless. They wore me down. "

http://www.timeout.com/london/music/grace-jones-autobiography-extract-misogyny-sectioned

haven't spoken to the mom in six months bc her emotional abuse is nonstop.  she obsesses over appearances bc she's obsessed with marriageability/reputation.  most desi moms are to a comical degree that can be forgivable in good measure.  but my mom has no interest in listening or learning or stopping when confronted with the hurt it causes, and instead doubles down and uses the mom card to justify humiliation and pressure as her right.

so i finally come home for 24 hours, and the comments are "i have other earrings you can wear instead of those", "are your sandals too small?", "here wear these loose larger size clothes they make you look slimmer", "did your hair thin out?  when you were younger i had to do do 3 braids for you bc your hair wouldn't fit in one braid" (says this every time for past 5 yrs).  to be fair the tenor of these comments are mild.  it's a more underhanded show of concern than a tone of shame and pressure.  So she's taken it down a notch after the silent treatment and my aunts telling her to cool it after I publicly blasted her on fb.  But still don't want to be in this toxic environment.

http://blogs.indiewire.com/womenandhollywood/what-i-learned-from-finding-my-lead-actress-through-women-and-hollywood-20150928

I am overwhelmed so much of the time.  I wish my ability to write / process my feelings could keep up with my feelings.  They are such a mystery to me in the thick of things.  Left unprocessed for too long, they wreak havoc on my ability to function.  My memory is particularly compromised.  I have to write or I can't function.  It's a survival tool, not something I can neglect, and not something I particularly like to do.  If my functionality wasn't compromised I don't know if I'd really pick up a pen.  Fuck the people who romanticize tortured writing as a craft.  Reliving pain is not enjoyable and there's nothing romantic about it.

Convincing social media-heavy friends that there is life beyond the internet is about as tough as convincing people who ridicule social media types with not having a real life (because all of it happens in one space or another??).  i hate bubble dwellers.  but i do think the latter group is more arrogant because most of history has been non-internet life.

still battling old arguments from ghosts who take on new forms.

If you try to dodge or deny what I'm telling you, I will lose my shit on you, narcissistic fuck.

Don't you love it when you present someone with nuanced explanations and they dismiss you for speaking in 'riddles'?

how to live with injustice without becoming cynical or vengeful.

and without falling prey to the tranquilizing effect of gradualism.

It takes a great deal of energy to NOT tear an asshole to pieces.

"this is how i understand the world, everyone else is just deviant and defensive about meeting the only standard of truth in my head"

Women with very high space to stuff ratios.

Omg hate LA, one night here and already shriveled up eyes dry and water tastes bad

I dont ever think 'oh i'm creating art'.  i just think 'make this pain go away.  take it, just take it, claw it out of me'.  and i hate those ppl who think the best art is created from the most pain.  fuck those people. i have a lot of mediocre and terrible stuff come out of terrible pain and beautiful things come out of periods of healing and happiness.  they just want to romanticize and ennoble suffering like it's the badge of a true artist.  that is some fucked up shit.  those things should not be connected as if that is something a person should aspire to in order to be taken seriously, why would anyone want to condemn themselves like that.  it's the same bullshit that glorifies the work yourself to death capitalist model of the 'badass' hyper worker, as if that makes the work more important.  no it doesn't.  go do the things that make life beautiful and leave the romanticization of death by trade out of it.

'please go take a shower and stop being awful to yourself'

the fatigue of disappointment

I write notes to myself in unexpected places.  it's kind of jarring.  like i want to throw out my folder from the jewish spirituality institute, bc housecleaning time, but i wrote under the label "love is not so much a magical mystery as it is a configured identity trap."

i'll recycle the folder.

online lectures - even though i'm glad about the intention behind them - are just another de-contextualized exercise in intellectual masturbation.  without coherence and guided curricula it's all just trivia.

Need to repopulate my memories.

I hold space for me.

Before I can think, I must dance.

Do you know how much will it takes to change the hand of fate?  Do you?

live moves so fast.  but i don't want memories of old times to grow cold and gray.  i hate how depression turns whole worlds to stone.

there's the kind of atheism that's just anti-christianity, and then there's the kind of atheism that's about not wanting to be held responsible for one's actions by anyone, an exploitative individualism.

i'm not happy long enough to create memories

monsters that are never exposed eat away at your ability to live.

http://iheartintelligence.com/2015/07/08/loving-a-highly-creative-person/

http://www.bustle.com/articles/107058-10-ways-to-survive-a-relationship-with-a-writer

list of things i dont care about in my newsfeed:
mormon/jewish marriage crisis
azhar has some opinion about women
donald trump blah blah blah

there are no straight lines.

there are no straight lines.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/5-ways-someone-can-cheat-on-you-that-have-nothing-to-do-with-sex-dg/

with great power comes great stupidity.  it's like privilege comes with blinders and you have to actively tell the salesperson no thank you.

http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2014/10/06/gillian-robespierre-shane-jones-day-jobs-career-advice/

http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/08/ask-polly-why-is-everyone-succeeding-except-me.html?mid=fb-share-thecut

https://medium.com/keep-learning-keep-growing/i-m-sorry-i-didn-t-respond-to-your-email-my-husband-coughed-to-death-two-years-ago-9e12c93c92fa

https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2015/08/21/5-ways-the-narcissists-lack-of-empathy-harms-us/

http://letmereach.com/2014/07/15/apologizing-to-a-narcissist/

Romance flow chart.

why is my life a full time job.

sad to watch people get in the way of their own goals bc of character flaws

http://www.buzzfeed.com/lindseymetrus/these-men-are-absolutely-killing-this-whole-makeup-thing?bffb&utm_term=4ldqpgp#.wllElvWXGB

http://www.indiewire.com/article/5-most-daring-portrayals-of-female-sexuality-in-movies-20150807?utm_campaign=Indiewire&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&utm_content=1439243293

https://www.thrillist.com/eat/los-angeles/14-secret-supper-clubs-in-la-plus-how-to-get-in?ref=facebook-869&share=c

where there is privacy there is room for abuse.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/6-powerful-connection-exercises-for-couples-jgc/

https://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2015/08/14/white-house-just-joined-spotify-listen-presidents-summer-playlist

http://coolyounghistory.com/flight-deals/

http://www.tickld.com/x/old-man-explains-death-and-life-to-grieving-young-man

all the gunk that has built up in my sinuses from 10+ years in the pits of LA is melting.

alhamdulillah i'm not with a scornful person who doesn't listen and who's too cool for school.

all the time i waste on hope.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/10-habits-practice-achieve-emotional-maturity-h2l/

fuck hollywood and it's white supremacist capitalist patriarchy

http://www.buzzfeed.com/kateaurthur/rose-mcgowan-is-starting-a-revolution#.bnPwO3RZNW

Ya Allah, please remove me from the clutches of spiteful people.

http://www.entrepreneur.com/slideshow/246749

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/07/are-you-an-undercover-narcissist.html?mid=facebook_scienceofus

http://variety.com/2015/artisans/news/physical-production-heads-juggling-act-keeping-the-bank-creatives-happy-1201566997/

https://modelviewculture.com/pieces/giveyourmoneytowomen-the-end-game-of-capitalism

I can't date anyone on the politically respectable spectrum.

http://onemorepost.com/men-and-cats/

i thought he was different.  but he's like any other guy who can't handle rejection.

Idiot doesn't know 75% of women in prison are there for self defense against abusive significant other.  Also hasn't heard of Marissa Alexander.  So the woman's options are to go to jail for protecting herself or get killed and blamed for not protecting herself.

http://jezebel.com/sheriff-domestic-violence-victim-couldve-prevented-her-1723445010?utm_campaign=socialflow_jezebel_facebook&utm_source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

http://ideas.time.com/2013/06/03/why-we-should-read-literature/

http://qz.com/474766/the-biggest-mistakes-people-make-when-choosing-a-life-partner/

'And when you choose a life partner, you’re choosing a lot of things, including your parenting partner and someone who will deeply influence your children, your eating companion for about 20,000 meals, your travel companion for about 100 vacations, your primary leisure time and retirement friend, your career therapist, and someone whose day you’ll hear about 18,000 times.'

'when it comes to dating, society frowns upon thinking too much about it, instead opting for things like relying on fate, going with your gut, and hoping for the best. If a business owner took society’s dating advice for her business, she’d probably fail, and if she succeeded, it would be partially due to good luck—and that’s how society wants us to approach dating.' (unless you're talking about more traditional matchmaking scenarios involving aunties and such, then the business aspect of it is just presumptuous posing as rational, both systems are clueless and neglect individual compatibility).

bleh

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-experiences-everyone-has-birthright-2862

http://www.theguardian.com/music/2015/aug/11/squadgoals-whitesplaining-black-culture-taylor-swift?CMP=fb_us

there is a difference between a conversation and someone letting you speak so that they can continue talking.

http://pdx.eater.com/maps/portland-restaurants-best-new-cheap-eats

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/codependency-anorexia-starving-yourself-from-love-fiff/

http://heatherplett.com/2015/03/hold-space/

http://heatherplett.com/2015/03/how-to-hold-space-for-yourself-first/

France is downright provincial for Chinese billionaires.

why do guys say they want girlfriends when their behavior says they want an appliance with holes to fuck?

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jarrylee/tinder-for-elites?utm_term=.bupX0OOap#.jf32gEmp87

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLgIIjnpZyU

http://www.businessinsider.com/pyramid-of-luxury-brands-2015-3

Anita's Law is an internet law that exists because of the work of Anita Sarkeesian, who spends a lot of time talking about the way women are portrayed in popular media. It states: Online discussion of sexism or misogyny quickly results indisproportionate displays of sexism and misogyny.^[6] This exists because Anita is a feminist who usually focuses on how women are either not shown as advancing plot on their own, not shown at all, or shown in highly stereotypical ways. And, as unsurprisingly, the responses to her were often incredibly over the top, including threats of violence.

The tranquilizing drug of gradualism - MLK

This Italian restaurant plays country music and serves gluten free pasta.  #portland

Garcia Rose.

http://www.ebay.com/gds/9-Kingdoms-You-Can-Buy-On-Ebay-/10000000205605849/g.html?roken2=ta.pVGhyaWxsaXN0

beard scraggles of a lazy shaver.

old truism.  it hurts to care about someone who doesn't care about you.

Nothing bw san fran - redding - shasta - douglas county

The first dust devil and the wild turkey

Evergreens so vivid subhanAllahs overflow from one's lips

Water = jobs! / growing food does not equal wasting water

Midnight barons

100 miles of alhamdulillah

Narcissists: ppl who don't have a fucking clue how to listen and learn.

I'm at a gas station in Eugene,  Oregon and it's playing 'boogie oogie oogie' by my neighbor in Arcadia whose $5 skirt I bought at her yard sale.

Oregon: where I nearly get into an accident bc driver too polite and has to let me pass.  Where radio plays weezer followed by gun commercial.  Where my lungs thank me and the earth and music see me : p.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/84683781/

http://www.libraryofarabicliterature.org/books/

"

“COMPLIMENTS THAT AREN’T ABOUT PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
1) You’re empowering.
2) I like your voice.
3) You’re strong.
4) I think your ideas/beliefs matter.
5) I’m so happy you exist.
6) More people should be listening to what you have to say.
7) You’re a very warm hearted person.
8) It’s nice seeing such kindness.
9) You’re very down to earth.
10) You have a beautiful soul.
11) You inspire me to become a better person.
12) Our conversations bring me a lot of joy.
13) It’s good to see someone care so much.
14) You’re so understanding.
15) You matter a lot to me.
16) You’re important even if you don’t think so.
17) You’re intelligent.
18) Your passion is contagious.19) Your confidence is refreshing.
20) You restore my faith in humanity.
21) You’re great at being creative.
22) You’re so talented at ____.
23) I don’t get tired of you the way I get tired of other people.
24) You have great taste in ___.
25) I’m happy I stayed alive long enough to meet you.
26) I wish more people were like you.
27) You’re so good at loving people.”
-hereislight

(feel free to add to the list)
painting by Alex aka Strain

"

Met housemate's friend. She smelled fresh and clean straight out of a shower. Was glad I don't live in the 1690s on pirate ship.

i feel like a millennial poser because i'm from the early batch of that group, the kind that's predominantly apathetic and meh and listens to a lot of 90s music.‪#‎confessions‬

http://www.alternet.org/media/lena-dunham-white-privilege-and-myth-anything-possible?sc=fb

puke

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/10-habits-couples-strong-healthy-relationships-shesaid/

Why is it that people who are underprivileged can endure all sorts of indignities and assaults on their self worth while carrying on all normal, but people in power who are confronted with the fact that they have power will shatter, deny, retaliate because their ego can't handle it? what is it with power that blinds people to responsibility.

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/extreme-self-care-for-modern-ladies?utm_source=vicefbus

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/8-toxic-phrases-shatter-relationships/

I spent so much time trying to be invisible I forgot how to be seen.

Do I want to support him financially and be made to feel unloved so he can make his art so I can feel a little bit better?  the answer is no.  Because the cost is my own mental health and creativity.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/28-things-long-time-married-couples-want-know-kt/

I sold my integrity before.  I'm not doing it again.

When you're about to embark on an incredible adventure, do you invite a piece of shit flake, or do you go it alone?

That question's for you, I already have my answer.

oh the people I'd like to tell to go suck a goats dick.

https://represent.us/action/thesolution/

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/opinion/sunday/were-making-life-too-hard-for-millennials.html?_r=0

http://www.buzzfeed.com/michaelblackmon/scumbag-baby-boomer-is-another-meme-that-will-enrage-millenn#.apNORrvPBe

I REALLY don't want to feel like prey today.  I REALLY don't want to feel like the other.  And I REALLY don't want to have to educate a lazy shit on why I even feel these things.

I hate when some people realize something you've been telling them forever to be true is true, and act as if the whole world just realized it because they did, and then don't remember that you were the one saying it for ages and treat you like you don't really know that much or any more than they do.  The inability to recognize expertise is not impressive.  GO AWAY.

people oblivious to systems of abuse are targets for abusers, as well as their enablers, as well as the deniers that alienate people who try to make the system more just.

"Possible Scenarios of Situational Offenders:

They can be family members, teachers, coaches, babysitters, and most juvenile offenders. Examples:
A grandfather that never abused his own children, but sexually molested his grandchildren.
A teacher that seduced a student from class. 
A boy that sexually abused his sisters and her friends during a playdate.
A nanny that took photos of her sexually abusing a young child in her care and sent the photos to her boyfriend.

In these cases, the offenders did not 'seek out' an opportunity to abuse a child, but rather, found themselves in a situation that enabled them to abuse a child and took it. Sure - some predatory pedophiles may purposely seek such positions, but situational offenders do not. Grooming techniques may be used, but the basic foundation of trust - and most importantly, access, has already been established."

http://themamabeareffect.org/1/post/2015/06/think-all-child-molesters-are-pedophiles-think-again.html

everybody who married their "that'll dos", I know who you are.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/formerlyfundie/i-am-a-human-trafficking-survivor-heres-what-i-want-to-ask-christian-activists/

When people ignore or dismiss me I escalate things quickly.  Because fuck that shit.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/millennial-media/201304/do-racism-conservatism-and-low-iq-go-hand-in-hand

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-ca-mn-salma-hayek-the-prophet-conversation-20150802-story.html#page=1

expression is power.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2015/07/28/13-tips-on-how-to-speak-while-female/

the answer to 'should i lower my standards?' is no.

roam with meeee

I did it again.  Jumped into someone's memories, felt all their pain, and drained myself.  fuck.

Awareness brings with it the curse of alienation.

the internet as a means of permanence in a life of instability, poverty, and physical impermanence.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/hlg-is-your-relationship-being-hurt-by-ghosts-of-relationships-past/

http://attitude.co.uk/sir-ian-mckellen-to-narrate-muslim-drag-queen-documentary/

marriage is just a tactic of securing the least unpleasant rapist to ensure one's protection in a world run by neanderthals.  whole methodologies and skill sets have gone into securing such a malignant asset, such as bait-by-cooking, sex appeal, and cultivating a non-threatening cuteness despite one's intelligence.

http://americanfilmmarket.com/20-things-you-should-never-do-in-a-pitch-meeting/

http://www.bang2write.com/2014/02/6-ways-to-make-hollywood-fall-in-love-with-your-pitch-by-genevieve-jolliffe.html

http://www.ssninsider.com/screenwriting-101-legally-blonde-screenwriter-karen-mccullah-gives-advice-on-getting-your-spec-circulated-talks-expendabelles/

http://goodinaroom.com/blog/how-to-write-a-screenplay-sell/

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/248839

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/245928

it's not that i'm a better person or superior or whatever, other people are just _satisfied_ with the lack of poor standards we have for humans.  i'm not.

https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2015/07/29/unsafe-people-identifying-and-protecting-ourselves-from-narcissists/

http://www.dailydot.com/opinion/just-move-poor-people-advice-internet/?fb=ss&prtnr=attn

some dudes wear feminism like a pedophile wears a priests robe.

the things that people put on dating profiles are the things that don't matter.  like i would really like to see a breakdown of their character reviews by friends "total asshole, unreliable" "talks a big game".

oh did i just vomit all over this article?

http://elitedaily.com/dating/like-a-girl-so-much/1151053/

http://www.buzzfeed.com/alqamarhijabs/hijabi-cosplayers-faith-fun-11czo

http://www.comingoffaith.com/entertainment/19-things-you-should-never-ever-say-to-a-writer/?hvid=4oFPcI

white people diversity porn. ex: english class where teacher loooved stories about family abroad but other stuff was just weird.  ex: film festivals producers who really value my 'diversity' but fucking clueless that other work informed by it so much richer than shit that panders to their idea of 'diversity'.  go away.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/rossalynwarren/heres-how-one-feminist-responded-to-women-who-say-they-dont#.vaNpVBv20d

https://everydaygeopoliticshouston.wordpress.com/2015/04/10/a-reply-to-lauren-southerns-why-im-not-a-feminist/

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/9-signs-youre-dating-a-man-not-a-boy-hesaid/

A feminism that creates higher standards for men rather than making women lower theirs

I'm only interested in mastering the language of superficial people so I can subvert them with substance.

http://blogs.indiewire.com/thompsononhollywood/jill-soloway-says-there-is-an-all-out-attack-on-female-filmmakers-20150727

http://www.houstonpress.com/arts/no-it-s-not-your-opinion-you-re-just-wrong-7611752

http://www.indiewire.com/article/7-must-see-movies-about-writers

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/white-fragility-and-the-rules-of-engagement-twlm/

I am a magnet for Dawkins-reading headscarf fetishists.

Justine Musk

“Shift your focus away from what you want (a billion dollars) and get deeply, intensely curious about what the world wants and needs. Ask yourself what you have the potential to offer that is so unique and compelling and helpful that no computer could replace you, no one could outsource you, no one could steal your product and make it better and then club you into oblivion (not literally). Then develop that potential. Choose one thing and become a master of it.  Choose a second thing and become a master of that.  When you become a master of two worlds (say, engineering and business), you can bring them together in a way that will a) introduce hot ideas to each other, so they can have idea sex and make idea babies that no one has seen before and b) create a competitive advantage because you can move between worlds, speak both languages, connect the tribes, mash the elements to spark fresh creative insight until you wake up with the epiphany that changes your life.

The world doesn’t throw a billion dollars at a person because the person wants it or works so hard they feel they deserve it. (The world does not care what you want or deserve.)  The world gives you money in exchange for something it perceives to be of equal or greater value: something that transforms an aspect of the culture, reworks a familiar story or introduces a new one, alters the way people think about the category and make use of it in daily life. There is no roadmap, no blueprint for this; a lot of people will give you a lot of advice, and most of it will be bad, and a lot of it will be good and sound but you’ll have to figure out how it doesn’t apply to you because you’re coming from an unexpected angle. And you’ll be doing it alone, until you develop the charisma and credibility to attract the talent you need to come with you.

Have courage. (You will need it.)

And good luck.  (You’ll need that too.)”

Read more at http://www.businessinsider.my/elon-musks-first-wife-explains-what-it-takes-to-become-a-billionaire-2015-4/#SPMoLlo8Z3cfPZT0.99

http://www.bdsmovement.net/successes/

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2015/04/raised-by-parents-with-low-emotional-intelligence/

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/30/science/for-couples-time-can-upend-the-laws-of-attraction.html?WT.mc_id=2015-KWP-AUD_DEV&WT.mc_ev=click&ad-keywords=AUDDEVREMARK&kwp_0=22764&kwp_4=156255&kwp_1=163878&_r=0

i belong to the cult of people who have legitimately uptight jobs that can only be balanced with a colorful personal life.

Jealous mango.

women should get paid for emotional labor
http://the-toast.net/2015/07/13/emotional-labor/?utm_content=buffer2a8b7&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Entertainment: the only industry that doesn't punish me for having a personality (as much)

omg the guys in portland are so not creepazoids

If you want to be a hidden treasure, only revealed to the treasure hunter, then don't expect to be found by most. 

Things I don't want to deal with on vacation:
-racists
-sexists
-systems of abuse in general
-naive people who deny shit's fucked up and make me feel alienated in any way bc they can't educate themselves
-planning anything
-picking up the slack for anyone
-leading
-following through on other people's ill-planned goals that I am bound to

how do i ever get such a vacation?

i have issues with erasure and denial.  that shit's fucked up.

what is it with guys who want to erase the woman they are with.

 I don't want to be a public figure.  I don't want to be constantly held up for scrutiny.  I don't have the headspace to field and rebuff or urge myself to ignore all those expectations.

A therapist can't tell me anything I don't already know about myself.

Buy a nailcutter. Don't feel sad.

just as it's smart not to be in a private space with a guy on the first few dates, bc rape culture, I also think it's not smart to marry someone without having been in a private space with them either, bc rape culture in a marital context.  You can't know until it's tested.

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/04/rape-culture-dating/

Whenever I see Jon Stewart gushing about Malala, I get a little annoyed. Not because of Malala, she's great. But because before her fame, people would dismiss girls who dress traditionally and speak kindly as weak or naive, even though they have the same intelligence, tenacity and vision. These girls are not rare. Malala is not rare. The people who never recognized them as valuable are just idiots.

White liberal non-commitment to racial equality looks like white professors and students claiming they love diversity, but then not inviting conversation about all the diversity going on that's just weird to them. What they really want is people who look different but act like them, with maybe some interesting food thrown in for "diversity". Nice little tokens that make them feel cultured and open-minded without getting their hands dirty. Without challenging the system that keeps others at a disadvantage so they can think about their next ski trip.

‪#‎wishihadheadspaceforaskitrip‬
‪#‎jkidontski‬
‪#‎bcimbrown‬

I believe in polygyny (not polyandry) in the practical sense that there are only a few good men for many, many good women.  the assholes shouldn't get any.

most of the relationship refugees in abuse shelters are women and yet the laws dont punish abusers really

"He uses her love for him like a weapon."

http://www.damemagazine.com/2014/10/29/why-i-didnt-tell-you-he-was-beating-me#sthash.Syv3rQ30.dpuf

minorities are stressed people

The health cost of upward mobility:

"So the kids who followed the demographically normative path tend to be the healthiest, even considering that relative poverty and lack of education are health risk factors. The message could be to never be an outlier, but that’s no message."

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/07/the-health-cost-of-upward-mobility/398486/?fb_ref=Default

The high prevalence of poor sleep among African-American executives, the researchers wrote last year in The New York Times, “can be attributed partly to limited professional and social networks that can provide financial and emotional support; discrimination or microaggressions experienced in the workplace; hypervigilance because of a perceived high work ethic needed to succeed; or greater levels of neighborhood and home stress.”

Part of what may be going on is when you get to a competitive environment like college, and thereafter competition only becomes more fierce, these kids double down on their tendency to overcome—to be focused and persistent. And they do that to the exclusion of social lives, physical activity, eating well. They become so focused on this definition of success that they just neglect some of the lifestyles that happen naturally for the kids who are having an easier time.

In addition to discrimination and alienation, having to manage competing demands of a professional life and a “family-of-origin” life where expectations and norms are dramatically different. Add systemic discrimination on top of alienation from both one’s root-community and from other high-achievers, and the stress is compounded immeasurably.

I pray for the right words to express my emotions bc without them I feel alienated and alone.  I need someone to hear me and understand.

Eve Ensler on Bill Cosby:

http://time.com/3957881/eve-ensler-on-bill-cosby-let-the-mythical-daddy-die/?xid=fbshare

Hi I'm white!  I can think about camping cruising skydiving kayaking skiing because I don't have to think about how to behave around people who might get me killed by cops, deny me employment education housing, or dismiss my experiences in general for being so un-fun to talk about lol!

I have a problem with this and I don't have a problem with this:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ivanrhess/11-reasons-why-lena-dunham-is-actually-awful-1pf1n

People with hope are so quaint.

I'm going to miss Ramadan and the magical way it keeps me from cursing the shit out of every loser that crosses my path.

i hate dating.  fastest way to lose years of your life.  even after the relationship.

air in your lungs is not the same as food on your plate. one need being fulfilled doesn't mean all needs are fulfilled.

A burka is not a compliment to men.  It is a symbol of how they are still neanderthals.

Ladies, please become financiers bc guys with money are gross as fuck.

I don't care how progressive and open-minded you are, if you won't call out assholes in your circle, you're not brave.  You're not anything.  Go away.

Got so mad today.  So SO mad.  At guy friends (educated professionals) I lost some respect for bc casual misogyny.  They were talking about how tiger woods and other big athletes chase other women even if they have wives, and excused it, like 'we don't know how hard it is to always be tempted and no one ever say no to you' (like really?  there are powerful men who aren't womanizers, we just don't talk about the fact that they aren't womanizers; pick some fucking worthy role models).  They further elaborated that man, if they were with a 6, but 9s and 10s were throwing themselves at you, so hard to resist.  PUKE.  Like fucking PUKE.  Don't know if I'm more disgusted by the fact that grown intelligent men think it's perfectly fine to rank women's worth based on their appearance (I'm not assuming that they are ranking someone as a '9' or '10' by their brains here), or by the fact that they think grown men are brainless slaves to their dicks, therefore they hold themselves to low standards.  It's casual idiocy like this (women's worth = appearance, men can't help themselves boo hoo) that lead high-ranking professional men in whatever industry to make discriminatory observations that become status quo.  Take Michael Eisner's comment recently about how there are no 'attractive and funny' female comedians.  What the fuck does attractive have to do with it, Mr Gatekeeper of the industry?  Have you not seen the ass cracks for faces on male comedians throughout history?
Moms, if you're raising your sons to think like the above, you fail at Momming.  FAIL.  I judge you.

GAAAAAaaaahHHHHHHHHhhhHHHH

One thing about not valuing or being aware of the skills that you have is you recommend people thinking they're just as qualified bc you like them, and it turns out they're not qualified and then ppl won't trust your recommendation.

the moment you want to share your joy with someone, then remember they don't care.

some relationships are like a giant knife that drives into your heart, sending shrapnel to all its fleshy corners with every little thrust.

and some relationships heave the lodged knife out a little, only to reveal the sensation of shrapnel you couldn't feel the first time.

Palestine has a way of capturing the hearts of strangers.

how is someone who is numb supposed to make anybody feel anything?

No much how much knowledge I fill my brain with, depression will still come by an smash it away.

10 Things I wish I'd known about gas lighting

https://medium.com/@sheaemmafett/10-things-i-wish-i-d-known-about-gaslighting-22234cb5e407

a story about how ppl bemoan wanting something, i connect them with resources offered up on a plate, they don't do anything with it, still bemoaning wanting sty/not getting it.

someone who asks 'how was your day?' with the capability of understanding and interest in the answer everyday.

All my nebulous opinions are driving me nuts.

If experience teaches you one thing and religious teaching teaches you another, which do you trust?

(I go with experience for a number of reasons, mainly bc one is the opinions (no matter how based in law) of mainly men about God and the other is first hand evidence.)

Sometimes when people ask me what's the latest with my life, I tell them my worries and concerns of a predicament I was in sometime in the past, because I needed company then and there was no one.  Also, I want to tell the story, that's the story I want to share, not the daily particulars of something current and un-needing of human connection.

A conversation with kafka:

"One advantage in keeping a diary is that you become aware with reassuring clarity of the changes which you constantly suffer."
damn it. i hate you.

"My 'fear' is my substance, and probably the best part of me."
 quiet nod.

"Don't despair, not even over the fact that you don't despair."
 lol

 "A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us." i love you. why are you dead.

 "By imposing too great a responsibility, or rather, all responsibility, on yourself, you crush yourself." tell me about it.

 "Tyranny or slavery, born of selfishness, are the two educational methods of parents; all gradations of tyranny or slavery."
 this is why my childhood makes me so attuned to abuse of power struggles of many stripes.

 "I do not read advertisements. I would spend all of my time wanting things."
 lol this sounds like addley.

Losers and their apathetic loser friends.

Some women's feminism is weak sauce.  They will always put their need to be loved by a misogynist over calling them out and standing up for women and their own self respect.

If a woman has to be a mom to her husband and her kids, who takes care of her exactly?

I'm so excited that 'tone policing' as a phrase exists now. it blows the lid off of silencing techniques oppressive ppl have used against others for years, and put victims in quarantine when what they need most is expression as a means to justice.

abuse victims have had their emotional capacity and willpower eroded, so they have a lower tolerance for bullshit or working through relationship issues other people have the reserves to deal with.

i love how lazy allies are being taken to task for returning to their bubble of privilege once making a show of being on the 'right' side. worry that criticizing allies too much might discourage them from learning more, bc it does take a lot of energy and time to learn and stay committed, and yes it is tempting to return to privilege, which even though it is privilege, is still a life that requires responsibility and time for relaxation in order to stay human. one can't do and be everything.

why do women keep marrying men who don't think feminism is necessary? or marrying men who are silent when parents espouse horrifically sexist ideas and don't stick up for their wives' choices?

when you go on a date and the dude acknowledges male privilege:

I don't date politically respectable people.

I have little space in my heart for people who defend their idea of Islam above human rights, as if humans don't know their needs.

the problem is not that women are 'too polite', the problem is that men are held to a lower standard of behavior and, despite that, still rewarded with more power. the solution for women's empowerment is not to behave more like men in order to gain power (that works in the short run for an individual woman in a man's world). the solution is to raise the standard for men to respect the feminine and acknowledge the value of feminine work in a way that offers economic advantage, security and other forms of power.

guess what ladies, there's a kind of guy who is only 'feminist' bc he thinks it means he'll get laid (feminist = sexually accessible, easier than the 'prudes'). He is not a feminist and is not joking either. he's a disingenuous prick posing as an ally who wants to do none of the work and doesn't even acknowledge the actual problem, has no empathy for your struggles and will dismiss anything that actually requires self-reflection.

why would i want to be with someone who does not want to ask "how was your day?" because that conversation is 'boring'?

I love intersectionality. I love that it exists as a word (even though spell check redlines it). I love that ppl are calling others out on their shit and demanding their place at the table with their full identity and all the struggles that come with it. that's what commitment to diversity is, not some pansy-ass NPR lip service, moral pat yourself on the back, self congratulatory ideal one supposedly respects. The intersectional path forward is more uncomfortable and a lot more work, that's why it's more substantive, meaningful and long-lasting. So much more satisfying to talk about intersectionality. So sick of the era where celebrities hide their mixed or ethnic identities to be more marketable for the mainstream / have career longevity / not be pidgin-holed (norah jones is half indian ladies and gentleman, nelly furtado is portuguese, people, deal with it, you still like their music, you can handle their backgrounds, your minds won't explode, grow a little).

guys who are clueless about or dismiss age old mother-in-law / wife oppression and unpaid work women take upon themselves that is *necessary* but guys are too cool for school to do something that boring.

People who are so sensitive they stand in the way of their own growth.